End of The Beginning
by xElliementalx
Summary: Severus Snape does what little he can to help Harry in the Shrieking Shack. But, he knows that death awaits him, and this will be his last act. But, he's in for a big surprise when he seems to be given a second chance at life. Snape/Lily friendship .
1. Chapter 1

**Full Summary:** Severus Snape is dying. What lies beyond, he doesn't know. But, he's in for a surprise. Following on from Snape's demise in "Deathly Hallows", it then goes AU. So, starting towards the end of DH, and switching to pre-series Marauder's Era.

**Author's Note:** My first attempt at a HP fanfic, so please be gentle! All the usual disclaimers apply, and I own none of the characters, and certainly not the books or movies (JKR and Warner Brothers own all).

Please read and review, thank you.

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**Chapter One: The End Of The Beginning**** (Introduction).**

There was no time for any lingering animosity; no final insult or parting shot. Not even with Harry Potter leaning over him, and Granger silent and shocked in the background. He didn't think that it would come to this; suffocating on his own blood, poison creeping like ivy through his veins, and choking the last breaths out of him. But Severus had had his final flash of inspiration to fill in the blanks of the story, and give the boy the information he needed to defeat the Dark Lord.

He didn't even know if he had the strength to form the words. "Take it," he managed in a short, declarative sentence.

He expunged his life story in a haze of silver light. Silently, he implored the more intelligent of the two to realise what he was doing. She didn't let him down. He was getting weaker by the second; the threads of memory taking something of his life-force with them as they were siphoned into the magically conjured bottle.

His mind selected the memories with a practised precision. From childhood, to adulthood; the long buried past came pouring from him. Through the shine of the haze, he could see their bewildered expressions. But Potter, he knew full well, was more than acquainted with a Pensieve. Now the secrets of his heart would be an open book for even the most casual of readers to browse. His life story reduced to an increasingly diaphanous haze captured in a crystal vial.

Then, it was done. He was spent, and dying. But he was not done yet. He still had a few precious seconds. "Look at me," he managed in a whisper that barely pierced the atmosphere between them.

Harry looked more confused than ever as he turned his eyes to Severus's. It was as though he was waiting for the final jibe to come. He couldn't possibly know the reason, but soon he would. As soon as those eyes met his, the boy ceased to exist. The faded decay of the Shrieking Shack gave way to an afternoon a long time ago, when he looked into those emerald eyes. Her face filled his mind's eye as he was pulled beneath a deep, dark tide.

* * *

The darkness slowly diffused. The light was small, at first – it filtered through his closed eyelids. Just a haze in the distance. He thought that it was the last spark of life, as though his battery was running down but temporarily flaring up again. But the light got brighter. He found the strength to let his eyes flutter open, and still those green eyes were looking down at him. Harry and Hermione should be gone from this place, he thinks to himself. But all the time, he's blinking and looking up into those eyes as though entranced.

"Severus?"

The voice was high; too high for Harry Potter.

"Granger," he croaked in response. She was the only girl in the Shack with them.

The eyes darkened in a deep frown. "Who?" she asked.

Severus tried to sit up, but his head connected with someone else's. They banged off each other, each falling backwards against the grass that wasn't there the last time Severus was aware of anything, and on top of that he caught a glimpse of an open, blue sky. Dazed; he cursed, and the girl he couldn't see properly chided him gently.

"Language, Sev!"

Rubbing the aching spot on his forehead, he sat up again with his eyes scrunched closed tight. "Am I dead yet?" he asked, drily.

"That's not funny!" The girl retorted, a tremble in her voice. "I thought you were; I thought you had stopped breathing." She obviously hadn't met Nagini. He could hear her get to her feet and start fussing with something behind him.

Severus decided to test the waters, and open his eyes again. He was in a park. To his left were rusty swings thrown over the top cross bar – rendering them unusable. To his right was scrub land with thickets of bushes. No Hogwarts, no Shrieking Shack, no war. He froze, still sitting in the long grass. He remembered this place. He recognised it well. The two towers from the coal mine looming over the drab little estate near by. Slowly, he turned to face the green eyed girl. He believed, but at the same time didn't want to let himself believe, that it was her.

"Lily!" he gasped.

She was rummaging through a bag, from which she pulled out a coat. Her own bright pink coat. She stopped upon hearing her name, and turned sharply to face him. It was her. Her auburn hair was alive in the bright sunlight, her eyes glittering like gems. A flood of love rushed through him. But she was young. So young. Now, she looked back at him full of concern. She approached him slowly, as if she was no longer certain of who he was.

"That's it," she stated with a firmness that betrayed her shaken demeanour. "You're coming with me to the Hospital."

She swooped down on him with the coat, wrapping it around his shoulders. He must have looked a right state in a girl's pink coat. He was about to shrug off the offending attire when he noticed his hands. Gone were the scars; the multitude of burns from the cauldrons of inept students that he had collected over the years. The skin was soft, unblemished. His heart beat raced as he tried to stand.

Lily was watching him; looking more and more worried. "Severus," she said, her voice still tremulous. "Sev, what happened? You passed out, and now you're being weird."

He stood up, and must have measured all of five foot nothing in height. His mind whirled like a child's top. He looked across the small space that divided and Lily: "How old am I?" he asked her, fearing the answer.

Lily smiled, half-laughed as though she knew it was a joke but didn't quite get the punchline. "Er..." she replied as her forced smile hardened into a frown. "Er … you're eleven."

Eleven. The word reverberated around his head, and knocked the breath out of his lungs. He turned on the spot, taking in the whole of his surroundings. The park, the bushes, the towers looming over the streets and casting the people in their long, ominous shadow. It all looked so real, but this couldn't be real. He couldn't possibly be him, because he had been none of the child he was for a very long time. That couldn't be Lily, and he couldn't possibly be him; they were both dead. But it was there in technicolour, and corporeal form.

"This isn't happening to me," he muttered, noticing for the first time how high, and unbroken his voice was. "None of this is real..."

Lily was making a noise in the background, but he couldn't make out a word she was saying. He could barely see her as he looked all about him in confusion. On the periphery of his vision he could just make out a ginger blur of her hair as she lunged forwards to try and catch his fall. But she was too late. He was back among the grass where he'd regained consciousness, and being pulled back down beneath that tide.

* * *

**~TBC~**


	2. Life Inside A Pensieve

**Author's Note:** Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read, review, alert, and favourite this story. It is all greatly appreciated. The usual disclaimers apply; I own none of this. Please read and review, thank you!

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**Chapter Two: Life Inside A Pensieve.**

Everything happened for a reason. That's what Severus kept telling himself as the broad shouldered Nurse prodded and pinched at his sparse flesh. However, the reason for his fainting fits eluded the woman conducting the examination. Eventually, she stood back in a pool of harsh neon light in the Accident and Emergency cubicle. She seemed to fill the whole space, blocking Severus's view of the gap in the curtain that preserved his modesty during the examination. On the other side of that curtain, he knew, Lily paced the tiled floor; waiting and worrying all by herself. He had absolutely forbidden her to phone his parents.

The Nurse, who's name badge was obscured by a large stethoscope, heaved a sigh as she regarded him with a deep set frown hardening the lines on her face. "Well, young man," she addressed him, as though he presented a conundrum. "How're you feeling now?"

"Please, I just want to go home," he lied. "I'm wasting your time."

She placed her hands on her hips, stooping slightly to see him the better. How he wished she wouldn't.

"I'll be the judge of that, mister," she retorted as she slid a finger into the breast pocket of her pinafore. She produced an item like a pen; pressed a button and made the tip light up brightly.

"Look up," she ordered, and shone the implement directly into his eye. "That's it," she cooed, a little more gently. "Look down … Look left … Look right."

Then the frown was back in place as she regarded him anew.

"See," he said, "there's nothing wrong with me. Can I go now?"

He could see the Nurse was struggling to dream up an excuse to delay him; he could almost hear the cogs of her mind turning. He took her silence as a 'yes', and got to his feet while buttoning his shirt again. Now that his hands were half the size he was accustomed to, the task was twice as difficult. Something the Nurse commented on under her breath.

"You must come back at once if this happens again!" she called out to his retreating back as he pushed the curtain aside.

Outside, he found Lily where he had left her, but talking to a man in a long white coat. He held a clipboard, and as he approached them, the man looked Severus up and down. His eyes were unfocused, as if looking right through him. A vacant stare that made him suppress a shudder.

"Lily," he tugged at her elbow. "Nurse said I'm grand. Let's go, now."

For a moment, he thought that she was going to protest. Her lips parted, but with a quick glance between Severus and the Doctor, she changed her mind. Instead, they clasped each other's hands, and made a run for it. Together, they dodged the drunks who weaved their way through the busy ward, and side-stepped the walking wounded who were waiting their turn with the Doctors. After everything that had happened, all Severus wanted was to breathe the open air again, away from all the ghastly sick people.

"What did the Nurse say?" asked Lily once they emerged into the early evening sunshine.

"Who was that man you were talking to?" Severus ignored her question; there was nothing to tell. The nurse had asked what he was doing before he fainted, and he couldn't very well tell her he was thirty-seven years old, and doing his best to save the Wizarding World.

Lily frowned. "He was asking about you, Sev," she said. "He was asking me where you came from, and if I knew you well."

That had nothing to do with his well-being. Instinctively, he glanced over his shoulder. The hospital buildings were retreating into the distance as they strode down the pavements. Wheelchair bound geriatrics, limping victims, and unruly children milled at the entrance, passing to and fro. But there was no sign of the Doctor among them, and he breathed a silent sigh of relief. The last thing he wanted was to attract attention.

By the time they reached Spinner's End the dusk had fully settled; the land was drained of it's colour, and the first of the stars winked coyly down at them. At the end of his street,Lily and Severus stood face to face, but she was looking past him, towards the very last house.

"They won't be angry, will they?" she asked, her voice low.

For a moment, he wondered who 'they' were. But after a second, the realisation hit him in the gut like a final insult. To reinforce the point, a light came on in the window behind him, and rapid footsteps echoed down the hallway that lay behind the still closed door. With a shrug of resignation, he said; "Meet me again tomorrow, yeah?"

Lily gave a small nod, looking nervous on his behalf. But as she went to reply, the door at Severus's back was flung open. Slowly, Severus turned to face his mother who – in his old life – was more than fifteen years in her grave. It was like living in a Pensieve. Memories repeated themselves. Echoes from the past replayed all around him. Any minute now, he expected someone to reach down into the basin and pull him back into the real world. He wanted it more than ever as he looked up into Eileen Snape's livid face.

* * *

He slid onto the bench at the trestle table in the kitchen; his eyes following his long dead mother as she buzzed about the room like an angry wasp. The last few hours had been such a swirl, a hurricane of activity and confusion, that he hadn't even thought about his parents. To them, he was an eleven year old boy. Luckily for him, he was numb with shock, still. While she wiped the surfaces, packed away the dishes, and cleared the debris of the day (seemingly all at once), she scolded him with a colourful fluidity that would have had his adult self reaching for his wand; a carefully selected hex on the tip of his tongue.

"...been up all night," she cried, wiping her raw hands down the front of her grimy apron. "..father's drinking his wages again..." the complaints flowed on. He didn't even listen with half a heart. But he watched her closely. Her frailty was a thing he had not noticed in his real youth. Now that he could see her again, he could see that she trembled like the final leaf on a dead tree. A few loose strands of dark hair fell from her pony tail, accentuating the bones of her face, and her sallow skin stretched like cling-film over her skull. Had she always been like that?

Tentatively, he slid from the bench. "Mother," he said, reaching out one small hand to touch her. "Why don't you sit down?"

She flinched from his touch as though he were delivering an electric shock. "Are you listening to me?" she waspishly asked.

He shook his head. "No."

The honest answer, rather than sending her into a renewed rage, seemed only to confirm some sad expectation in her. She sagged, and leaned back against the counter. "You ought to try it sometime," she said, casting her gaze down. "I said a man came looking for you while you were out. He wanted to know if you had arrived yet."

"What?"

"That's what I thought," she replied. "Maybe he meant Hogwarts? I told him you're starting next month, and not to bother coming round here again; or I'd set your father on him."

Hogwarts. All over again. The first time around it had seemed like a whole new beginning. This time, however, it had the feeling of grim inevitability about it. A false dawn that leads only to catastrophe. Where Potter's little gang were concerned, however, once was more than enough.

"Did he leave a name?" asked Severus. "I don't like the sound of this."

Eileen shook her head and turned her attention to some pans sitting in the sink. "Didn't ask," she admitted. But after a second, she turned sharply to face him again. "Are you in trouble?"

"No!" he retorted hotly. "It's nothing. I think he had the wrong person or something."

Although neither of the said anything, they knew that wasn't true. Eileen returned to her chores, and he made his excuses. His father would be back from whatever bar he was holed up in, soon, and Severus didn't want to be there when he returned. As he turned to leave, his mother cast him a lingering look over her shoulder. A silent farewell; a small, sad gesture from a small, sad woman.

That night, he lay awake in bed. From the moment he awoke in the park; to the moment he shut his bedroom door, he'd been in a storm that no one else could see or hear. His thoughts were scattered, and his nerves frayed; making him scrabble to make sense of everything. Now alone, he could break it all down. He had the time and space to think it through logically. If anyone would know what to do, it would be Dumbledore, but his mother had said the new term was not until the next month. Then there were the mystery callers, and already Severus was connecting him to the Doctor at the Hospital – despite having no proof. Could he have been followed from his past life to this? Was this life merely a repeat performance of the last? He couldn't answer the first, but he was determined the change the second.

Death and rebirth in just one day had left him exhausted. Outside his window the moon hung high in the sky, and as he lay and looked up into her face, he let himself drift into an uneasy sleep. Come what may, he wasn't going to live the rest of this life in a Pensieve.

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**~TBC~**


	3. Just a Kid

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all the reviews, I really do appreciate it. All the usual disclaimers apply; I own none of this, and this is not for any kind of profit.

Please read and review, thank you.

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**Chapter Three: Just a Kid. **

Lily was turning cartwheels along the riverbank. Their letters from Hogwarts had arrived already, but today their parents had agreed on a date to go to Diagon Alley. For Lily, her world was opening up with the promise of a pearl in an oyster. For Severus, the walls were closing in. He knew already the path on which her life was set. As he watched her, from his shelter beneath the boughs of a Weeping Willow; none of the horrors of the future seemed possible.

He'd spent endless hours going through it all in his mind. He dissected his life into individual episodes, like stepping stones that eventually led him to becoming that person he became. It was then that he realised there were blanks in his own narrative. Blanks where he had siphoned memories to show Harry Potter, and make him understand the sacrifice that he must make to win the battle. Beneficial to Harry, and Severus didn't think he would be needing them where he thought he was going. But now he was left with nebulous impressions where once solid memories sat.

Lily cartwheeled perilously close to the edge of the water, stopping just short of the edge. He followed her progress listlessly.

"Aren't you in the least bit excited?" she called over to him. Thankfully, she was standing upright again. "I mean it, Sev. You haven't been right since the other day."

She meant since he had regained consciousness. "Can't wait," he drily answered.

Lily sighed. "It's those men, isn't it?" she said, lowering her voice and going to sit next to him. "What could they want from you? You're just a kid."

He almost laughed aloud. Quickly, he gathered his wits, and chose his next words carefully. "Where we're going," he began, "it's not all fairy dust and magic tricks-"

"I know that," she cut him off abruptly, shooting him a sharp look. "I remember you telling me about Azkaban and the Dementors."

Severus regretted patronising her, but he had to get his point across. "I'm sorry," he said. "But listen to me. This is about more than Azkaban. It's about the future, and the things that are happening now, that will lead us to the future..." his words trailed off as he began sounding like a cryptic crossword clue. He could tell by the distant look in her eyes that he had lost Lily, too.

"It's because I'm Muggleborn, isn't it?" she whispered, as though she were ashamed to admit it.

He couldn't lie. "There are those who would rather not have Muggleborns at Hogwarts," he explained. "But I don't ever want you to be ashamed of it, and I don't ever want to see anyone make you feel ashamed of who you are."

She looked at him, and her face lip up in a smile. He blushed, and averted his gaze to the river's edge, where Petunia Evans materialised in the distance. His mood darkened as she neared them, that all too familiar sour look on her thin face. She marched across the park lands like a soldier on parade, a definite sense of purpose. But she spoke like a General.

"Lily!" she barked, once she was only a few feet from their place under the tree. "Mummy wants you home, now."

Severus and Lily exchanged a half-amused half-resigned look. "Coming now, Tuney," Lily sighed, rolling her eyes.

Severus was in no hurry to go anywhere, and remained leaning nonchalantly against the broad trunk of the Willow. Normally, Petunia – who's piercing disapproval Severus had almost forgotten – affected not to know him. But today was going to be different.

"You," she stated, looking right at him and paling. "There was someone looking for you, and not that creature you call a father, either."

The expression on Petunia's face told him that even speaking only to insult his family had caused her great distress. Severus was about to reply, but Lily cut him off.

"Don't you talk about Mister Snape like that, you spoiled little girl!" she admonished, making her sister look as though she was about to gag.

Even though Severus had called Tobias Snape that, and worse, he couldn't help but glow as Lily defended him so sharply. But, as much as he hated to admit it, he had to enquire further. "Who?" he asked. "Who was it?"

The glare of Petunia's eyes shot from Lily, and back to Severus. "I don't know!" she gasped in horror. "I got away as quick as I could-"

"Well, what did you tell them?" asked Lily, reaching out and grabbing Petunia's wrist. "What did they say exactly?"

Petunia's lips were a thin, compressed line; as though she were choking on her own words. "He wanted to know if you would be on that train, to go to that school, come September," she said. "He also wanted to know if I could arrange a meeting – I mean really! Why would I do a thing like that? I told him to boil his head!" He had forgotten just how shrill she could be.

Evidently, Petunia had had enough. She clutched her sister's hand, and began marching her away towards the play park, and their home. As they left, all Lily could do was shoot him an apologetic glance from over her retreating shoulder. By that time, the sun was setting, making the sky blaze pink and gold. The ground exhaled the stored ground heat of the long summer's day, and the undergrowth was alive with activity as the burrowing, nocturnal animals nosed their way above the earth.

Severus was alone again. There weren't even any other children using the park; not even the older children who liked to go in and drink their stolen alcohol there. It was too early for them. The silence was punctuated by the Crickets and the breeze rustling the tops of the trees, and the occasional bird calling to it's mate. But Severus couldn't escape that feeling of being watched. He let his gaze roam down the river bank. There wasn't a soul to be seen. But the noise came from behind.

There was a rush of something running through the undergrowth, and the snap of twigs underfoot as whoever it was came crashing towards him. In a panic, Severus leapt to his feet, and made to run for it. He whirled around, just in time to see something large and black jumping on top of him. He was brought crashing back to the ground, and whatever had attacked him started licking his face with alacrity.

"Fenton!"

The man's voice boomed across the park as Severus wrestled with the playful, black Labrador that had scared the wits out of him. His heart beat raced, but the relief was immense. After just a few seconds, a pair of hands reached down and grabbed the dog by the collar.

"Jesus Christ, Fenton, you bad dog!" the owner was mortified. He turned to Severus, once his dog had been brought to heel, and offered him his hand. "Sorry about that, old son. He gets a tad excited."

Severus wiped his face with the sleeve of his jacket. "Er," he said, still shaken. "That's all right, mister. No harm done." He wanted to kick the animal.

All the same, Severus had nerves that were now as taut as bowstrings. He was unsettled, and began walking along the river bank. Not far from there was a bridge to get him on the right tracks home. Once indoors, for once, he would be safe. He tried to divert his attention away from his fears by watching the fish flip the surface of the river.

As he crossed the bridge, he looked back to see if the dog walker was far behind him. Severus paused to watch. He was talking to another man. Severus couldn't be sure, but the new comer was similar to the Doctor at the Hospital. After a few seconds, both men turned to look at him, and the dog walker pointed him out, his lead hanging off his hands like a rosary. Severus didn't hang around. Without even thinking about what he was doing, he turned on the spot, and screwed his eyes shut before disapperating there and then.

He landed on his bedroom floor gasping for breath. Sweat beaded his brow, and his body felt like it had been steamrollered by a joy rider. But splinching had been skilfully avoided. But even before he could recover himself from his small ordeal, he was overcome with dread. He rolled over on to his belly, and climbed onto all fours, before standing upright in stages. It was all he could manage. But once up, he moved to the window and pulled apart the curtains that were still drawn from the night before.

God knows what petty punishment would be meted out to him for his under age magic, and the Owl would arrive at any second. The sky was darkening, and the pale sickle moon lit up only the back yards of the long line of terraced houses that stretched off into the unfathomable distance. He couldn't see a thing; never mind a tiny Owl. But the watching made him feel better. The school he could handle. But when his mother found out, there would be hell to pay, and she was always a dab hand at taking his father's belt to him.

Time ticked by. The minutes seemed to drag as they bled into the hours, and no indignant Howlers arrived. No Owls, no warnings, and not even a mild ticking off. He retreated to bed, and lay awake, still listening for the sound of bird's feet scratching at the window panes. But all he could hear was the efficient clip of his mother's heels as she paced the floorboards downstairs. It was the rhythmic tapping that lulled him to sleep.

* * *

"Sev!"

Her voice cut through his sleep, dragging him back into consciousness.

"What?" he grunted, rolling over and trying to slip back into the arms of a blank, blissful unconsciousness again.

But Eileen was having none of it. "Come on, child," she roughly coaxed him.

With no further ado, she pulled at the duvet and dragged the pillow out from under his head. She was grinning broadly. "It's today!" she exclaimed brightly. "Diagon Alley day!"

Sleepily, he pulled himself into an upright position, and pushed back the locks of dark hair that were tumbling into his eyes. Her good moods were rare, and that day she was positively radiant with happiness. He watched her as though he was observing some new and interesting animal behaviour. Something she soon noticed.

"Well, come on, sleepy-head!" she laughed, but frowned at him all the same. "Bath, breakfast, and then we're leaving."

She as about to disappear out of the door. "Mam," he called out, just as she reached for the handle. "No owls came for me did they?"

She looked back over her shoulder, perplexed. "No, love," she replied. "Hurry yourself up, yeah?"

And she was gone. He listened as her footsteps receded down the hall way, and fell back against the mattress. No trace. He had no trace. But, he did have a day in the hell of Diagon Alley to relish; the mysteries of his new predicament would have to wait.

* * *

**TBC**


End file.
